U13s Tour Report 2012
The Under 13’s Hit the Beach Tour 2012
What follows is an abridged version of events on the North Bristol Under 13’s tour to Morfa Bay Adventure Centre, Pendine, Carmarthenshire. Names have been changed to protect the innocent!!
A 28 - strong party of under 13 stalwarts set off shortly after 5pm on Friday 30th March -19 players, 3 coaches and 6 other dads all looking forward to a weekend of fun. A roll call of tourists was taken as the party boarded the coach to ensure that everyone was wearing the obligatory tour props of T- shirt, swim cap, arm bands, snorkel, clothes peg with name on it and shoe lace on left ankle. With a nod and a wink, the coaches duly noted the offending parties, (predictably, George D and Tom featured amongst the. There was also a close shave for Phelpsie who clearly did not know his left from his right as he hastily untied his lace and retied it on the correct ankle away from prying eyes.
There was some really impressive swimming attire worn by the party. DJ Tone was looking particularly gorgeous in a cerise, or peachie- pink or was it fuschia pink retro petal swim cap with three dimensional flowers creating that truly elegant look normally featured in Vogue fashion magazine. Barbie Doll armbands completed the look! There was also a commendable effort from Jamie who many thought was sporting a skin coloured latex swim cap only to later discover that he was not actually wearing a cap at all but just sporting his usual shiny bonce!
A few hearts skipped a beat amongst the boys on the approach to the Welsh border when Mike asked the boys to get their passports/visas and toll money at the ready.
We arrived at Morfa Bay just before 9pm.Checking in was painless with the 19 boys snuggly accommodated in a large dormitory and the dads/coaches in their living quarters. With night time now upon us, it was time for the group barbecue and camp fire under the clear starry sky. Jamie was Fred Flintstone and Gordon Ramsey all in one, ably assisted by Phelpsie in cooking up enough burgers and sausages to feed a small regiment. As the boys, coaches and dads tucked into the veritable feast, Charlie’s Dad, Andy (Nick, Dave or whatever his name is!) demonstrated his bushcraft/firecraft skills honed on scout camps by creating a blazing campfire. He was again ably assisted by Bruce who was often seen disappearing into his cave before re-emerging loaded up with timber found from somewhere near the on- site assault course in true hunter –gatherer fashion. It was later discovered that another touring rugby team had to cancel their planned activity the next morning of raft –building due to lack of wood and other resources used on the campfire!
Round one of kangaroo court followed before the boys retired to their dormitory where they set up their own version of WWF Wrestling! Later on Friday night was the coaches chance to study pre recorded match highlights of the boys’ opposition on Sunday and to have a barside hothouse to discuss strategy and tactics. By the time it was decided that it would probably be best for the lads to get an early night , it was about 2am! The coaches implemented the curfew immediately!
After an early rise, initiated by Master –at Arms, Tony, and breakfast, the boys were getting ready for the first part of their spa weekend, designed to purify the skin and relax the mind with the ultimate cleansing ritual. There was the promise of mud and boy was there mud........... lots of it on the military style mud assault course! There was an initial briefing on how to tackle the course during which time Jaden was targeted by a low flying seagull swooping overhead before dropping a bomb on his head much to the amusement of his teammates. Jamie clealry regretting the fact that he had dressed more appropriate to Bondi Beach during the height of the Australian summer rather than the welsh coastal town at the end of March gratefully took advantage of every opportunity to gather up odd discarded items of clothing that had lain in tree branches and undergrowth on his way round the course. He had acquired a faun jacket and gloves and by the end of it looked like a vagrant! Two teams ,one headed by the coaches and the backs and the other by the forwards and the more senior members of the party tackled scramble nets, narrow walkways, water tunnels, rope swings, a swamp and the tunnel of doom and completed the course in highly respectably times- a triumph for fitness, trust and team work.
The second half of the adrenalin filled day saw everyone assemble at Pendine Sands, a fabulous stretch of sand best known for being the venue of the World Land speed records set by Malcolm Campbell in the 1920’s. Donned in wetsuits, life jackets and helmets, the boys, coaches and dads enjoyed the exhilaration of sea kayaking in the freezing coastal waters. A few of us decided to explore the secluded coves and caves and everyone seemed to have loads of fun with some budding Steven Redgraves and Matthew Pinsent’s in and amongst the group.
Evening fun and games began after the evening meal and kangaroo court reconvened in the conference hall as prosecutor Mike, defence counsel Simon and Tony swapping his swimming headdress for the wig and gown of the Presiding Judge entered the room to the music of ‘Eye of the Tiger’. All touring member s who had done wrong (and virtually everyone was guilty) took their punishments in good spirits. There were many notable highlights- Charlie reciting the section of the highway code dealing with crossing the road as well as having to don the high viz jacket and stick of a school crossing patrol in recognition of his misshap earlier this year; Tom dressing up in girl’s costume and make up; Jaden wearing a hospital gown and literally attached to Jamie who had swapped his earlier glad rags for a rather fetching busty nurse maid’s uniform; Guesty, wearing an old man’s bald head wig with frowned forehead with white curly side hair and wearing an old baggy cardigan in keeping with his recent bad back problems that have rendered him unavailable for training and matches recently; Billy, who has suffered more than his fair share of injuries this past year or so would be wrapped up in bubble wrap to protect his precious but fragile belongings; Dan cuddling a teddy bear that he was so obviously deprived of as a baby in favour of a rugby ball and finally, Lewis sporting a stripy red and white top with red bobble hat in recognition of his ability to blend into the crowd, well hidden from view and extremely hard to find in a crowd of people in recognition of his disappearing act whilst needed as a replacement in the Nailsea and Backwell game earlier this season. When Mike and Simon call out “Where’s Wally” in the future, you know who you are.
Ollie, who has been a serial offender often enough, gladly swapped sides to become presiding judge and the rest of his teammates became the jury as it was the coaches ‘ turn to take their punishments. We were then treated to a fabulous evening of top class cabaret entertainment with a karaoke hosted by our very own DJ Tone. Virtually all the boys, coaches and parents got up, grabbed the microphone and strutted their stuff before an appreciative audience.
It had been ideal way for everyone to wind down and relax following the action packed events of the day. Merry humour was the order for the rest of the evening and night.
Sunday morning arrived and the boys emerged from their slumbers looking tired and groggy after the night before. However, after a breakfast of coco pops and rice krispies , the touring party set off for Narberth RFC to play a match against their under 13’s side. The coaching team attempted to purge the minds and bodies of the players and themselves of the previous evening’s over exuberance and start focussing on the task in hand. They offered some well chosen words of encouragement for the players and remarkably considering their obvious weariness, the match started so promisingly for the tourists. They repelled everything the host team threw at them during the opening quarter of the match with some ferocious tackling from the boys rivalling anything they have produced all season. It was clear that the previous day’s team building sessions had instilled a new found resilience amongst the team and there was some excellent tackling from Dom, Conor and Jordan and some absolutely crunching tackles from James O including a couple of try saving interventions.
However, it was a lot to ask of the boys to keep up this intensity for the rest of the match and it was no surprise when the Otters opened the scoring just after the quarter of hour mark. Narberth continued to pour forward with WAVE after WAVE of attacks and North could not get out of their own half. Despite some players flexing their MUSSELS , they were unable to stem the TIDE and before you knew it, we were 26-0 down at the half time break. The boys were clearly missing the guiding influence of one of their most vocal supporters as Phelpsie was censored and gagged with gaffa tape standing on the touchline, the result of the previous evening’s court martial.
Clearly BOUYED up by their first half success, Narberth continued to exert further pressure and it was no surprise that North conceded further unanswered tries as fatigue took hold of the boys as the match wore on and their attempts to chase the game were ultimately undone by uncharacteristic handling errors and lack of sharpness. The final score was believed to be 52-0.
It was back to the clubhouse and the presentations. Ollie and the hosts ‘vice captain swapped club pennants and ties and the players coaches and dads enjoyed the warm hospitality afforded to them by welcoming hosts. Having played a rugby match, visited the wonderful Carmarthenshire coast and participated in some wonderful activities designed to promote teamwork, discipline, sportsmanship self confidence, and respect for teammates and opposition alike, the boys returned to Almondsbury HQ with a real feel of what touring is about . It was a fitting reward for all of the hard work from the players and coaches throughout the season, done without complaint or reward in all winds and weathers.
Huge thanks must go to Jodie whose marvellous organisational skills made the trip possible for us all and the coaches who made the weekend such a resounding success.
Joking aside, I could write several volumes about this and that and other amusing highlights but as they say what goes on tour stays on tour!
Every single one of the boys acquitted themselves well throughout the weekend. Without exception they played a significant part in the tour both on and off the field and were fine ambassadors for North Bristol RFC.
On a personal level, I would like to thank all of the above and in particular, the coaches and fellow dads that helped make the weekend such an enjoyable occasion. I thoroughly enjoyed your company and the banter and good natured humour–the boys and the club are extremely lucky to have you on board. Many thanks to each and every one of you. Have a Happy Easter!
Playing Squad: Ben, Billy, Charlie, Conor, Dan, Dom, George D, George G, George P, Harry, Jaden, James O, James Y, Jordan, Kayne, Lewis, Morgan, Ollie, Tom
Non playing Squad: Coaches Mike, Simon, DJ Tony, Andy ,Bruce,Jamie, Julian, Phelpsie and me.


