U11/12 Tour Report When we arrived animals were trotting into a big boat two by two, the elephant and the kangaroo ooo ooo. Phil’s initial decision to bring a dove with him was well placed but his decision to wear a kagool showed that you can take a boy out of buffoon but you couldn’t take the buffoon out of the boy. A quick change into his artic parker and the Fettis’s were into the park which at first seemed spookily inactive. By the time we struggled to the first roller coaster we were met at the forward operating base by Lt. Colonel Pritchard and his Gurkhas who were on their 900th turn on the ride. Just in time we managed to jump onboard only to have our innards churned like a churny thing. At this point it must be mentioned that even with a deluge, Milo and Reece managed to stay dry which can’t be said for Callum Costorphine who came down the water slide like one of Barnes Wallis’s bombs, bounced out his tea tray, performed a triple salko and a perfect pike into the drink. Callum emerged to gasps of admiration either for his skill in the air or his ability to morph into a water vole. Immediately he began to rue the fact that he’d packed only 1 pair of shoes and had to make an appearance at the local branch of Chelsea Girl to buy a new pair of spangly slingbacks. Phil on the other hand came down like a young gazelle, however the little bit of puppy fat that he’s still carrying increased the velocity of his descent and he went on and on and on to the amazement of Elliott. The gem of the day however had to be down to the photo of Steve Derrick on the roller coaster. Back to the hotel the Fettis clan’s decision to have an early shower had them clean, pink and healthy looking unlike everyone else as the hot water had run out. With Paul Gould having 3 women with him, not the room to be in when the bathroom was reminiscent of a Penguins first dive – Brrrrrrrrrrrr Lots of fine wining and dining went on in the evening and the next thing Dan and Phil were up in court. Dan for wearing bright white sneakers and Phil for apparently being disorganised regarding the tour. Apart from the fact that he’d taken a yellow peg for every U11/U12 with their name printed on he was still in the cart. A swift glass of nasty provided by Mrs F was quickly despatched and Dan was immediately awarded another for having Velcro on his stupidly young trainers instead of laces . So it was off to bed for most of us except on or two naughty mummies who decided a bottle of wine was lonely BING it was daylight and we were all up rushing for the showers before they went cold and onwards to Whitland for some champagne rugby to warm our cockled hearts. What can we say about Whitland except for what a club - a squad in every age group, a wealth of adult teams, 3 x womens and 3 times vets. I can't thank them enough for their exceptional hospitality and genuine love of the game. As expected the Whitland boys ran us a bit ragged at times but unlike previous years we competed and competed well. Now for the shock of the day - Telford had turned up with boys a full head above my majestic height and were looking menacing. Phil "I'm taking them off if we start getting hurt" Fettis was the first to be astounded at the way we got at them and we packed away a very deserved win. It was a pleasure to watch and William managed to bag his maiden try for the club - classic!!! Of course it was onto the clubhouse next where we were royally treated, none of this put your money on the bar children I aint touching your dirty hands malarky. Vast quanitities of sausage and chips were dispensed by our hosts and gobbled up by the waiting hordes. Beers were drunk by the adults, dying flies were stepped on with monotenus regularity, gifts were handed over and pleasantries exchanged. What a weekend - thank you Witland, thank you children and thank you, thank you Helen and Gary. .U9s Tour Report It could have been so different……. but with buckets full of true British grit and a bags full of stiff upper lips, we battled through the wind and rain on Saturday morning at Oaklands theme Park, West Wales our starting point for the 2008 North Bristol RFC Tour. Mike and I eventually found most of the under 9's hiding under their kagool hoods and we were able to hand out the tour T shirts - the extra layer was much appreciated and everyone looked very smart in their bright red tops (except for Ben Stones who we failed to find and who still hasn't got his top - sorry Ben - there must be some sort of fine coming my way for that!) The weather improved through the afternoon and some of the squad had even dried out enough to tackle the Hydra water slide - they were soon drenched through again! Everyone had a great time and it was difficult keeping up with all the team, but a few notable appearances were: Ben Dore who plucked up the courage to take on "the bounce" and by the look of his face when it was going up, wished he hadn't, Phoebe and Aaron went on the woodland roller coater ride so many times the Oaklands ride operators are now on the Budd-Stones and Mitchell Christmas card list, Oliver is hot favourite for the 2012 Uk Theme Park Bobsleigh champion, Ben Clarke faced the Hydra head on - and by the look of his clothes when he got back onto dry land - was beaten into submission - Jonathan rather wisely chose the comfort of the dry warm Theatre to get his kicks, and Billy, well, like Jodie his Mum, was no stranger to danger and took the lot on - only the Hydra had the better of him. It was all back to the Travelodge in Pembroke for a wash and brush up. The evening was spent in the local pub which was dry and warm (if a little small for the gathering hourdes); after a hearty meal, the grown ups settled down to a few drinks; the kids hustled the locals and quickly gained control of the pool table - Result! The North Bristol coloured wigs were proudly worn (thanks to Mike for that) and the next big thing (Jack & Jonathan) entertained us with some lovely guitar playing before Jonathan & Kathryn delighted in showing off some of their new found tricks - now that's magic! The following morning started rather vaguely and one missed rendezvous followed another….. is it excusable for the coaches to be last out of the hotel on the grounds that they have to check everyone has left? - probably not! Anyway most of the team were to be found in the local MacDonalds treating themselves to a healthy breakfast - I'm not sure it's what Clive Woodward would recommend but it was tasty! And so off in convoy to Whitland - eventually arriving at the School grounds in the town for the game - it was to be Whitland first followed by another touring team from Telford. We had heard that Whitland were a force to reckoned with and had had a very successful season - they looked well drilled in their warm up and we were expecting a tough match. Now… because we'd travelled to foreign fields, the rules were a little different to those that we were used to - 10 on the pitch, no scrums, no line outs and kicking out of the 22 - the team were briefed accordingly and were all desperate to do the kicking!!! We won the toss and our very own Danny Cypriani, aka Aaron, dropped kicked the ball deep into the Whitland half - we were off. Despite the fact that most of the North Bristol team were still in the pub long after CBBC had gone off air, the team revelled in the stiff competition and there was some very exciting play keeping the touring parents and locals entertained for the full 20 minutes, North eventually losing narrowly by 3 tries to 2. The friendly local spectators were extremely complimentary of the North performance are were genuinely quite surprised that we had pushed them so hard and came so close - great performance guys! Next up was Telford v's Whitland: North looked on with interest…. Now I'm not saying the Telford team were big for their age but some of them wouldn't have looked out of place in the under 11's team - then again looking across the fields, some of the under 11's wouldn't have looked out of place in the under 14's and so on….. what do these guys sleep in - grow bags! Whitland beat Telford and the North coaches worked hard on the tried and tested mantra "the bigger they are the harder they fall" - by the looks of these guys they were going to fall hard if we could ever get our arms round their legs to tackle them! After a very tough 20 minutes of rugby, we came out 4-2 losers - which under the circumstances was a fine result - especially when taking into account their size and the fact that the second half ref (Telford's) had somehow forgotten about playing advantage at any point when we gained possession from a Telford error. The boys and girls were shattered but had done themselves, the coaches and the parents proud. Well done to you all. Finally it was back to the clubhouse for sausage and chips. The tour was rounded off in traditional style with the under 10 formation dying flies. The North Bristol RFC 2008 touring team was: Aaron Elliott Phoebe Keely Oliver Jonathan Harrison Ben D Ben C Ben S Billy Jack